you would pick up someone in the library
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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