it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize