take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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