took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize