Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Even my vagina gasped.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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