I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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