its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
