Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize