sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
