Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
