my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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