the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Life is so much better after having sex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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