i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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