We got so high we made milksteak
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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