i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
