Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
