Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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