New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
