Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
