I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
