it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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