Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize