We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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