so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
