worst night to have a conscience
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
