I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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