I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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