you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
