Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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