I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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