I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
