My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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