so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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