I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
