they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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