somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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