I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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