fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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