The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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