We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize