I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
