I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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