Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize