I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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