Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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