I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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