break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
