what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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