apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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