Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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