Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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