i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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