Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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