He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
