it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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