nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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