yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
