let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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